Dual....:-)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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