My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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