I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
handjob tips. give me some.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
