i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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