That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
