The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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