This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
