You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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