im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
