just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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