You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize