i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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