We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
