The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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