why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
