I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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