I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
