we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
