I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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