Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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