He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
