i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
