yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
