I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
