i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I pour the whiskey from now on
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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