You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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