I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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