Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
