That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize