Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize