how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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