I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
