i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
