I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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