No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
