U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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