I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
