So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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