is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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