For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
