Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
