wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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