I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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