is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
