I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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