I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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