stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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