Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
