super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
