smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
