we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
