I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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