Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
