I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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