the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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