I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
