i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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