Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I see more hoeing in ur future
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